 Friday September 28th & Saturday September 29th Trapp Lodge (Anchorage Inn) Tilton, NH
Director: EJ (Spanky) Chef: Gene
 Cliff notes for 2007:
Friday:
Van (actually this part of the story begins and ends on Thursday, 9/28)
Erik reserved a 15 passenger van on the internet from Alamo on Tuesday. He went back on the internet and “paid” for it. On Thursday Ernie called and offered to drive EJ to the airport to pick up the van. Upon checking in to pickup the van, EJ presented his credit cards only to have them denied because they were “debit, not credit” cards. EJ explained that they were both debit and credit, to which they replied that they were not. No van, no ride home for EJ from Logan.
Checking in: I knew it was going to be an eventful weekend... See Awards
“new” ABC sign for house (similar to above, left). Each year the Commisioner will bring the sign to the weekend
Golf - only 7 showed for golf but had a great time in Franklin at the Mojalaki Golf Course. Nice 9 hole course.
Closest to the pin: Fitzy on the 3rd hole.
“new” golf putters: EJ made wooded putters for each ABC member. The majority received “block” style putting heads, while others received themed putter heads. (Mailbox, Lamb, Foot, Duck)
Night:
Meal: Great job by our chef Gene. An Italian themed meal consisting of pasta, Gorgonzola cheese and tomatoes, garlic bread, salad
Fire: Great fire started by our resided pirotechnician Ernie. Only to hand over fire management to his understudy, Ricky. Ricky is rapidly moving up the ranks to earn his fire starter badge as he proved tonight.
Ricky - “hey fitzy, did you drink all the rum?, cuz there’s no more”
Attendees: EJ, Fitz, Ernie, Clanga, Clance, Gerry, Geno, Ricky, Dave
Gerry is a quiet roommate. Not!
Shuddup.
Saturday:
Breakfast
State of the members
Attendees: EJ, Fitz, Ernie, Clanga, Clance, Gerry, Geno, Ricky, Spuff, Billy
Paintball (little bit of a ride through the country side of NH, but well worth it)
The Facility: Many courses: Western Town, The Forest, The Castle, Urban Village
The Players: Ernie “the human target”, Erik “the unavoidable stomach”, Clance “the wiry snake”, Gerry “ohh, don’t hurt me”, Fitzy/Clanga/Ricky “too fast to hit”, Gene “the stealth wagon”
The incidents: Ricky got hit in the Adams Apple game 1, Erik (as best he could) tried to hide behind a wall in a battle with Ernie that rivals Hamburger Hill only to get killed because he forgot to suck in his mid section, Clanga and Fitzy too a lot of head shots. Gerry (while wearing his NFL Referee Ed Hockely Tight Tshirt) avoided getting splattered with paint, Gene (although the tallest) lasted very long in most games due to his patience and stealth-like maneuvers,
ditto for Clance as well- (he was very good at this game), and Ernie who lasted all of 15 seconds in each game (except for the Urban fight, where he did very well). Note for future events Ernie... at least you can bring the extra 92 (out of 100) paintballs back with you.
Best move of the day? Clance in a soon-to-be heated battle with Fitzy. As they approached each other in the Forest setting, and after exchanging early shots over each others bows, Clance called the Ref for a weapons jam. Seems “his gun” had problems firing. Whilst the ref fixed Clances weapon, a temporary ceased fire between the 2 was announced. Shortly after commencing the battle, Clance strategically manuevered around unbeknownst to Private Fitzy and proceeded to blast away at the inexperienced soldier. After “killing” Fitzy, and in the confusion and smoke in the air, Clance proceeded to give Fitzy one more shot for good behavior! In the press conference afterwards Clance was asked about shooting Private Fitzy twice. He said he did it because “Fitzy was still moving and I was in fear for my life. I wanted to make sure he was dead.” Exactly Clance. Always a team player. Good job. Thats gonna leave a mark, for sure.
In another Clance episode... as EJ was protecting the Saloon (in the Western town) by hanging out in the bell tower sniping the enemy, Clance snuck up on all of us and proceeded to mow us down 1 by 1. EJ claims he did not see the spry Clance, bit DID hear his army boots climbing the stairs for a back-entry (did I say rear entry?... yikes) assault. EJ with his keen hearing (I didn’t say skills) heard the enemy approaching. EJ immediately put his bayonette into his weapon for a close assault and prepared for battle. But all of a sudden EJ felt his backside burning. Hmmm. He knew Gerry was dead, and that Ricky (although reportedly was “on the other team”, in fact liked women) so the only thought that Mr. Clancy somehow pulled off the sneakiest kill of them all. Rather that face the veteran EJ in a 1 to 1 battle, Clancy chewed through a knot hole in the wood and stuck his gun through the hole and proceeded to snap off a couple of quick rounds into the mid section of EJ. Not feeling any immediate pain due to the thick underbelly of the wiry veteran, EJ suddenly found himself out of competition. Clance, once again, proved himself invaluable to his country. Bastard.
Saturday Night:
Genes meal: Awesome once again. Steak, salad, bread,
The arrival of 2 long lost members: Spuff and Billy
Karaoke (1 and 2): Went to 1 bar where thing were extremely uneventful. Just a lot of old, overweight people. Not that we felt out of place, we just added to them. We stayed for 1 drink. (well, most of us. We think Gerry had a bit more)
Lexus Limo: Billy’s car/van/Limo/SUV held all 10 of us with Fitz squeezed into the very back (where they keep the spare tire and outgoing trash).
Morgan - the bartender from last year. You can’t hide from us.
THE T-shirt and the transaction - Clanga noticed this girl wearing a Red Sox Pennant winning Tshirt and stopped her to ask her about it. When we asked about it she said she would sell it to us. So we bought it.
Lesbos - Not sure of the total story here, but I do know they were dancing and kissing on the floor, with Billy in hot persuit.
Does this make me look fat? - EJ the RED machine
Gerry at Bar(s) - hmmm. Bar 1 he got drunk. Bar 2 he fell down
Ernie Singing - sang at each Bar. Badly at each bar.
Billy dancing - good dancer. now, he should look for a partner next time
Spuff - another dancing machine
Gerry and Cop - Cop won
Gerry and trip from bar
Gerry and Fire
Gerry and tucking him in
Gerry “cutting down the forest” - could not wake him. I think he was a lumberjack in his prior life.
Billy face plant
Gene’s fire
Ernie interrogating Clanga and Spuff - late night legal work by Ernie
Clance the Limo Driver
Morgans tee shirt
Morgans number
Morgan “at the keys”
Weekend wrap up at the campfire - great Presidents speech
EJ’s Tee shirt modeling - not a good sight
The 2008 Elections (nominees and acceptance speeches) - Clance and Billy were nominated for 2008 commisioner. Billys acceptance speech was short. “I decline”. Clance’s was longer. “I accept the nomination”
Awards: Closest to the pin, best paintballer, worst paintballer, Lifetime Achievement: Gene (category: Cooking)
Sunday
Gotta go
Billy’s face
Checking out
Breakfast at the Diner
Long quiet ride home
Shaking out the cobwebs
2007
Brother Ricky writes:
Hello fellow Campers/House Dwellers.
Well, this was my first camping trip with y'all (my wife's southerness has worn off on me a bit) since 1986 (the trip to Ft. Lauderdale doesn't count) and some things have changed and some haven't. Here are my observations:
1. Erik is a welcome addition to the ABC, and did an outstanding job of organizing the trip (also, wearing all red makes him look much slimmer)
2. Massachusetts is the correct state for Clance to live in, and not the right state for the rest of us
3. Kevin still has it with the women, and Clanga has gotten more of it with the women over the years
4. Gene CAN cook, but he still CAN'T golf
5. Gerry is a warrior, both on and off the battlefield. He is willing to attempt to walk THROUGH trees, dive/fall face first into the ground to avoid the enemy, and warn his men that they must leave the battlefield while they are still able to (the battlefield for all of these were the bar room and the enemy was the police and the bottle). On the paintball battlefield he was respected by all...... fragging him was considered, but we were all too tired to do it.
6. Ernie (aka Bullseye) still CAN'T sing, but he keeps on trying.
7. It was reaffirmed that Billy is a better drunk driver than he is a drunk walker. Did we get any pictures of the morning after face?
8 Dave is really a ghost. He appeared and disappeared before anyone could prove he was really there.
9. Fitzy sucks at golf and cost me $3 toward my retirement by 3 putting the last hole (and he got the best handmade-by-Erik putter of all of us).
10. Those of you that didn't make it....shame on you, and you better be there next September on Martha's Vineyard for another episode of "Over 50 Fools--Men Still Searching for their Youth".
Unofficial Awards (never formally awarded due to time constraints):
Worst body in a tight shirt: (the Ed Hockely Award): Gerry ... very close runnerup: EJ
Best fire by a drunk: Ricky. Ernie, you've lost your touch.
Best "don't get up, I'll try to get it with my nose": Billy, for his late night face plant
Best ixnay on the ifeyway moment: Tie. Spuff for the blond chick, and EJ for his Thumbelina moments
Worst "Don't just stand there, help me up" award: Gerry. “Is that a badge on your chest, or are you just happy to see me?”
"Boy I'm glad I'm married moment": (silence)
I hope this washes off moment? None
Best Snorer: Gerry. Runnersup: Dave, Erik
Best Talking in his sleep moment: Gerry Friday night. ohhh, not again Fitzy. yes, yes, a bit more to the right...
Fastest Best Moment? Ernie during CHECK IN: When Peggy, the Anchorage Manager said she had just finished
cleaning some units and asked if she smelt of moth balls... Ernie replied, "how do you get their legs apart?"
Slowest brain moment? Everyone asking Billy about the BC game during Dinner Saturday. Billy, you have to understand we were brain fried at the moment.
Worst color to wear out at night? All Red. Nice touch EJ.
Best "thank god I'm straight moment": None
Best “thank god I’m not sitting with you guys award”: Fitzy, for being stuck in the back of Billys SUV
Best “you really should go on a diet” award: Erik. Response: Really, I didn’t think anyone noticed. Do they still sell Yogurt by the case?
Best ground cover: EJ sorry, Gerry, you were close
Worst singer: Ernie
Best singer: Morgan
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